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Section 4: Corresponding with Russian Women

Getting Started

     Your interest and curiosity about meeting a woman from another country is healthy and normal.  You are not contemplating doing something that is strange, abnormal or unusual.  Remember that intercultural marriages between men and women have been cherished and successful for thousands of years and will undoubtedly continue to be popular. 

     Certainly there will be unique challenges for each and every man that seeks to create and nurture a serious relationship with a woman from another country.  Correspondence and courtship over long distances, numerous time zones and between different languages and cultures is obviously not as easy or as convenient as dating a lady in your home town. Although there are real challenges, be confident that you can overcome these challenges and achieve the success that you desire.  We believe you will maximize your success by relying on knowledgeable and objective resources like this site to guide you through the entire process.

     You may find that some friends or family members will try to discourage you from your pursuit.  Whatever their reason are you should remember that ultimately you alone must be the one that decides what is desirable for your personality, preferences, circumstances and abilities.  We suggest that you do not allow other people’s negative opinions or biases keep you from achieving your pursuit of a lifetime of happiness.  Those individuals that truly care about you will support you. 

Read Between the Lines

     One of the most difficult parts of a long distance and multi-cultural relationship is not being able to use your intuition to assess the character of your lady.  If your primary contact with each other is written then you both have little to go on other than the stated words on paper. 

     Using a translator will prohibit you from being able to speak directly to your lady which can limit your ability to hear the intonations and cadence of her voice as certain words are spoken.  Not being able to interact ‘face to face’ will restrict your the ability to ‘read’ her body language.  You will miss out on the subtle gestures men and women make towards one another during a romantic courtship and it goes without saying that any form of physical intimacy will be non existent.  All this will change as soon are you are able to spend time together. Until then you will need to keep your senses and not get too carried away and make premature assumptions especially if your feelings are a result of only written words.

     Inevitably, during the course of your correspondence there will be times when you are not sure of the spoken and unspoken messages being conveyed by her.  This actually goes both ways since she may be uncertain about you as well.  You may get to a point where you wonder if she is interested in you or not, she may wonder the same about you.  You may question her motives and seriousness of intentions, she may question yours.  You may become suspicious and jealous that she is corresponding with another man, or several, she may think and feel the same about you.

     The best way to deal with this these situations and feelings is to improve your knowledge of her culture.  All too often, western men make tactical mistakes when courting a Russian woman because they fail to understand what Russian women expect from their men.  It is sad but true that what might appear to be the smallest of infractions will be unforgivable to a proud Russian woman.  Although a strong relationship will survive cultural conflicts and digressions, it is better to avoid them wherever possible.  To gain the knowledge necessary for a successful correspondence and courtship we recommend you read Your Russian Bride and Long Distance Relationships with Russian Women by Marina Smiley.

Visit these chapters for more information about Correspondence:

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