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Section 7: Immigration Advice


How to Prepare for Her Arrival (Part 2)

Send Her Information on Your City

     Before she arrives you can send her information about your city and surrounding region.  Visit your local book store for travel guides on your city and region that contain numerous pictures and easy to ready text.  Check with your local Chamber of Commerce or Visitor’s Bureau for any promotional materials on the city or region.  They may even mail them to her for you if you order them over the phone or through the internet.  Visit your local hotels or airport for tourist brochures on attractions and sights of interest in your region.  You can mail these to her or bring them with you on your next visit.  Purchase various postcards that depict the many sights and landmarks of your city and region.  You can mail these to her in a single envelop or send them individually over the course of a few weeks with love messages on each one.

Send Her Pictures or a Video

     She will be curious to know more about your life and lifestyle as this will soon be her own.  If you haven’t already done so you can send her pictures that explain where you live and how you live.  Include some simple pictures of your home and neighborhood.  It can be difficult to take effective pictures of indoor spaces even with a wide angle lens.  Consider making a video giving her a tour of your home and showing the surrounding neighborhood as well.  You can even include pictures or video of your favorite places in your city as well as the important people in your life that she will eventually meet.

     If you intend to make a video make sure she has the ability to play it.  If she has a Video Cassette Recorder or Player make sure it can play back in the video format that you record your video in.  Many video players sold in Russia will play back in both the NTSC (American) and PAL (European) standard with the flip of a switch.  If your Video Recorder creates videos using the NTSC system then you should ask your lady if she has a ‘multi-standard’ machine.  If not than you ask your local camera store if they can convert your NTSC video to PAL.  Go here to read more about worldwide TV formats.  If you have the ability to capture your video recording onto Compact Disk you can send this to her instead of tape if she has access to a computer she can play it on.

Prepare Your Home

     Imagine how she is going to feel when she first arrives at your home.  The things you do to prepare your home before she arrives will make the difference between feeling as if she belongs there verses feeling as if she is a guest or intruder on someone else’s space.  It won’t feel like her home immediately but in short time she will endeavor to make it ‘cozy’ for both of you.  You should still make your home as pleasant as possible for her before she arrives.  This will demonstrate your thoughtfulness to her arrival and give her a good impression of your standards.

     If you have sent her pictures then it will look familiar but now she is going to see the fine details.  Here’s a list of things to do to your home to give her a warm and inviting impression:

 

·  Clean the entire house especially the kitchen and bathrooms.  Hire a maid service shortly before her arrival if you don’t have the time or desire to do it yourself.
·  Make sure the windows, floors and carpets are freshly cleaned.  Have the carpets professionally cleaned if necessary.
·  Paint any surfaces that need it.
·  Repair or discard any broken items in the house.
·  Clear the kitchen of any dirty dishes.
·  Fumigate your home if you have any signs of insects or rodents.
·  Air out your house to give it a fresh smell.  Use an air freshening product if desired.
·  Wash all the bedding and towels.
·  Clear some space in the closet, dresser and bathroom for her personal items.
·  If you have a yard, have it freshly cut and cleaned.
·  Turn on the outside lights if she is arriving at night.
·  Have a vase of fresh flowers set in as many rooms as you care to have decorated.

Things for Her to Bring

     It may be helpful and comforting to her if she has a few special items from Russia with her after she arrives.  If she can surround herself with a few reminders of Russia his may help her to feel closer to her previous home and not so far away.  Here are few things you can suggest that she bring with her:

 

·  Art or crafts that can be used to decorate her new home with
·  Her favorite Russian music – advise her whether she should bring tape or CDs based on your equipment
·  A good Russian – English dictionary
·  Some Russian Language books if she is an avid reader
·  Pictures of her friends, family and home town

Send Her Some Money

     You lady may need your financial support for her travel expenses.  It is advisable to pay for her airline tickets directly using your credit card if possible.  Aside from the major travel expense of the airline ticket you will need to anticipate all the minor expenses she may encounter once she leaves the front door of her home.  Some things to plan for may include taxi fare, hotel room, extra baggage fees, meals and phone calls.  Discuss these situations with her to find out if she needs your assistance.

     Aside from this minor travel expenses you can also offer something special to her through your financial support.  If she is working you can suggest that you send her a gift of money so she can leave her job earlier and spend the extra time visiting friends and relatives before she leaves.  This can help her avoid any regrets or sorrow if she were to leave without properly saying ‘goodbye’.  Keep in mind that it may be several months or years until she returns to Russia again so this may be her best chance to spend time with the people she cares about before leaving.

Prepare Yourself

     The first thing she will want to do is give you a big hug and kiss when she steps off the plane into your waiting arms.  Make sure you are dressed and groomed to make an outstanding presentation of yourself.  Consider doing the following before she arrives so that you will be at your best:

 

·  Get a fresh haircut.  Trim your ear, nose and eyebrow hairs if necessary.
·  Have a fresh shave before you leave for the airport.  Be careful not to rush and cut yourself.
·  Take a shower before you leave for the airport if you are leaving from home.  If not try to freshen up anyway you can.  Bring a toiletry kit with you if you need to prepare yourself at the office, gym, hotel or airport.
·  Be sure to Floss, Brush and Gargle before you leave for the Airport.  You will enjoy the extra kisses you will receive.
·  Visit the dentist a few weeks prior to her arrival for a check up to make sure there aren’t any issues that should be addressed.  Schedule to have your teeth cleaned and polished.  If you haven’t done this recently consider having a bleaching done to whiting your teeth if they are stained.
·  Choose a stylish outfit and make sure it is cleaned and pressed.
·  Clean and shine your shoes if necessary.
·  Avoid too much cologne unless you already know she likes it.

Remove Past Relationships

     Remove all evidence of past relationships you have had with other women.  It will be extremely upsetting to her if she finds anything that gives her the impression that she is not the exclusive lady in your life.  Don’t take a chance that she can accidentally find pictures or mementos of your past wife or girl friends.  She may not tell you she did but they will be upsetting to her none the less.  If you can’t bare the thought of discarding such things now then put them in a well sealed box and hide it in your attic, garage or basement for disposal later.

Clean your car

     Before your lady sees your house she will see your car.  Make a good first impression.  Make sure it is clean on the inside as well as the outside.  For a romantic touch you can have a single rose are small arrangement placed in the car for her to enjoy during the ride.  Bring along a tape or CD of romantic music if you want something for the background during your drive home.

Things to Buy

     You should make sure you have enough supplies to take care of your needs for the next few days.  Besides basic food and beverages here are a few special things you may want to obtain before her arrival:

 

·  Flowers (to present to her upon her arrival and for decorating the house)
·  Romantic Music
·  Wine or Champagne (for relaxation and celebration)
·  Candles (for a romantic atmosphere around your home)
·  Condoms (prevent a premature pregnancy)
·  Gasoline (make sure you have enough to get back from the airport after her arrival)
·  Bubble Bath (she’ll want to bathe as soon as she gets home from the long flight)
·  Ask her if there is anything special she will want or need to be comfortable once she arrives

Prepare your friends and family

     It may sound like a strange idea but you may also want to prepare your friends and family for the arrival of your lady.  The more you speak to them about her, the less of a stranger she will be to them.  If they know she is an important part of your life now they are more likely to behave in more supportive ways to you both as a new couple.  Think of it in another way . . . you certainly wouldn’t want them criticize your decision to bring this person into your life in a way that could undermine the success of your new relationship.  All that you share with them before her arrival will help them have a sensitive and intelligent conversation with her when they do finally meet her in person.  Watch out for anyone that may be stuck in the ‘Cold War’ era.  Your older Parents and Grandparents, especially if they have a military background, may not be able to separate today’s modern Russia or Russians from the propaganda they absorbed about the Soviet Union and ‘Communists’ during the last century. If your lady is the first Russian they have ever met especially on a personal level they will most likely warm up to her and accept her into their circle.  If it is not possible to change their way of thinking, hopefully you can find tolerance if not amusement in there outdated attitudes.

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