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Section 3: Find Your Lady


How To Select The Right Lady

     Before you begin your search you should evaluate your own personal needs, desires and preferences for a life partner.  You will need to have an objective view of yourself so you know what you have to offer a lady.  Only after you know what is best for you should you begin your search for your ideal mate. 

     Before you begin your search you should establish a clear objective on what you are looking for based on the following criteria: 

     1. Her Age
     2. Her Height
     3. Her Physical Appearance
     4. Her Number of Children
     5. Her Personality
     6. Her Language Skills
     7. Her Religion
     8. Her Geographic Location
     9. Her Preferences of Age, Height, Appearance,

         Marital Status, Character and Geographic Location

     Make a mental list or write down your criteria so you can maintain your focus and only select the ladies that match your preferences.  Rank each criteria in the order of importance to you.

Her Age

     One of the first attributes you must consider is the age range of your prospective partner.  The issue of age is one of the alluring reasons so many western men are interested in relationship with a Russian woman.  It is true that marital age differences of 25 years or more between a man (Russian or Western) and Russian woman are possible and even successful.  However, you will serve yourself best if you give careful consideration to what you decide is the appropriate age range of the women you will consider for a life time partner.  As a middle aged man myself, I can understand why it would be very compelling for a man in his 40’s or 50’s to want to pursue a young foreign beauty in her teen’s or twenties.  This is a situation where ‘The Exotic is Erotic’ can easily apply.  I express my caution to you that this can also be a recipe for disappointment or even disaster if you place too much emphasis on external beauty.

     If your agenda is marriage then you have far too much at stake (financially and emotionally) to risk on a short term marriage that was founded too heavily on a physical attraction.  A successful marriage will be based on many things, compatibility, communication and mutual goals being some of the most important.  Extreme age differences are possible but are more often impractical since each partner will be in a significantly different stage of their life.  Depending on the individuals involved these differences can be a complement to the marital partnership or they can be a source of conflict.  This is an area where only you and your lady can be the judge of what is right for each of you.  My best advice for you, if you are contemplating a relationship with a significant age difference, is to follow your heart but listen to your head.  This is an important issue for your relationship so make it a point to discuss it openly when you have established a strong bond with your lady.

Her Height

     The issue of height is not an insignificant matter.  To ensure you will be viewed as a desirable man you will improve your chances for a reply if you are taller than the women you choose to contact.  You may already know that most women in general prefer to be associated with a man that is taller than she is.  Certainly there are exceptions but they are rare.  Russian women are similar in this regard and will most likely only respond to a man that is naturally taller than she is.  With this in mind you will improve your chances for a reply if you only choose to pursue women that are the same or lower in physical height than you are.  If you choose to do otherwise you are probably setting yourself up for disappoint after investing your heart and financial resources.  A lady’s profile may describe her height in Centimeters and/or Feet and Inches.  You should know your own height in both scales.  With this information you can quickly determine if a lady has a similar or lower height than your own.  Don’t be tempted to exaggerate your own height in hopes she won’t notice when you actually meet.  Since she will probably be wearing high heel shoes your differences in height will become embarrassing obvious.  If you lie about this or other physical characteristics she will consider you dishonest and not desirable as a marriage partner.

Her Physical Appearance

     As a man you know what you find attractive in a woman . . . you certainly don’t need anyone else to tell you what is pleasing to your eyes.  You may feel like a ‘fox in a hen house’ when you see the line up of so many beautiful and available ladies.  The choice of so many compelling Russian women will seam endless once you start looking.  If you have a preference for certain female attributes you might as well base your search and selection on what you like the most.  This is not only a way for you to find your ‘dream girl’ but may be a practical way for you to reduce the number of choices down to a reasonable number.  Most profile information will include physical information such as height, weight and at least one photo.  Some profiles will present more detailed descriptions such as hair color, eye color, and measurements.  Look for profiles that provide enough information for you to know whether a particular lady is desirable or undesirable for your preferences.

     A word of advice: take care to not be too narrow on your preferences as you may exclude what could be a good choice for you.  You may never know unless you make an initial contact to find out more.

Children

     If marriage is your primary goal than you need to be clear about whether you want a marriage with children immediately, a marriage with children in the future or a marriage without children at all.  It is critical that you search for and select a woman who is interested in the same situation.  Any mismatch on this critical subject is certain to challenge the harmony and long term success of your relationship.  The issue of children will significantly affect your strategy for searching for the right woman.  For example, if your desire is to postpone having children until after a few years of marriage or if you don’t want to have children at all then it doesn’t make sense to begin a correspondence with woman who already has children or foster a relationship with a woman who is eager to have them as soon as possible.  Why waste your time or hers?  On the other hand, you may find joy in the notion of having an ‘immediate family’ or adding to your own existing family so pursuing a relationship with a woman with children or who is eager to start a family can be a desirable option. 

Personality

     Note all profiles contain a narrative description of the lady.  If you are fortunate, you will have a chance to read something revealing about the personality of the ladies in their profiles.  You will benefit is something is said about who they are and what they like to do with their time.  The more information you have about the person the better you will be able to perform your selection or exclusion of compatible and desirable candidates.  Remember that whatever you read is only ‘the tip of the iceberg’ so your future correspondence and personal meeting will serve to reveal more about her true character. 

     The amount of information posted will largely depend on the character of the lady and the location of her profile.  If she is confident and comfortable enough to write something about herself then you will have more information from which to evaluate her.  Another factor is whether or not the location of the profile enables each lady to post a narrative description about themselves or not.  You should be aware that some agencies write these narrative descriptions so the words may not be her own.  This could be done to deceive you.  One way to tell if the words are her own or not is by evaluating the quality of the written English.  If the English is not of the best quality it is most likely her own words.  If the English seems very polished and accurate it was probably translated.  What you won’t know for sure is if the translated description has been enhanced by the translator to be more appealing than the original statement made by the lady. Another thing to do is read other profiles.  If they start to sound the same or are rather generic and impersonal then they are more likely generated by the agency than by the lady themselves.

Language Skills

     The education standards have always been very high for Russian students.  It is required that they study a foreign language during their youth.  English is usually the most popular foreign language selected by young Russian students however German and French are also options.  Some agencies will provide information on the language and skill level their client possesses.  You will find that many ladies will indicate that they have knowledge of the English language but their skill levels will vary.  Most likely they will have a simple understanding of language but they may not have had much practice with it since they studied it as a student so their skills may be very limited.  Many will indicate that they need assistance through the use of a Russian- English dictionary. 

     You should decide what minimum level of English skills you would accept.  The lower the level of English you will accept the larger the selection of women you will have to choose from however you will find the difficulties and expenses of communication to be much higher as well.  A lady that speaks reads and writes little or no English will require all correspondence to be translated.  Regardless of the lady’s current English skill level it can always be improved with additional lessons.  In addition to her improving her language skills you can also improve yours by learning how to speak Russian. 

Religion

     Atheism was the official policy during the Soviet era.  That’s not to say the people of Russia were not religious during that time they just practiced their religion more discretely.  In today’s Russia you will find many ladies that will indicate they are religious.  The most common Religious identity stated in profiles is ‘Christian’ although Russian Orthodox, Muslim and Judaism will also exist.  If you have a strong preference for or against a particular religion then this will be one of the factors you will want to base your selection on.

     Having similar religious views can be a major factor for a couple’s long term success.  Although it is ideal if you have religious compatibility it is not necessarily essential as long as you can be mutually respectful to each other’s views.  If you choose to write to a lady that does not have a similar view to your own you should seek to understand her religious beliefs and explain your own views early in your correspondence.  If you think there is a potential for incompatibility on this issue you should decide if you want to mention it in your first letter or shortly after you have had at least a couple replies to your letters.  If is not advisable to avoid the subject altogether otherwise you could end up with wasted time if this turns out to be a major incompatibility issue for her.

Location

     Another concept to give consideration to in developing your selection strategy is the geographical location of the ladies you will consider desirable.  Russia is a huge country, the largest in the world with 9 different time zones.  The majority of the population is concentrated in the western region of the country adjacent to Eastern Europe.  Still this is a large geographical territory with a many major cities and several more minor cities and small towns where millions of eligible single women reside. 

     I’m confident you can find at least one good lady for you in any city or town in Russia.  However, statistically your odds and options are greatly enhanced if you search in areas with greater population densities.  Some men subscribe to the theory that Russian women from smaller cities and towns are ‘better’ than those from larger cities such as Moscow and St. Petersburg.  The basis for this opinion is that women from smaller cities or towns are less exposed to the materialistic lifestyle of the more cosmopolitan cities.  You will find that this doesn’t hold true in all cases and such generalizations are meaningless.

     You might be thinking, if Russia is such a big pond to go fishing, where is the best place to cast my line?  This is a good question without an easy answer.  In terms of selecting a geographical Russian ‘hunting ground’ I suggest that you evaluate your own situation first.  If you currently live in a remote rural situation where your neighbors are separated by miles of farm land or forests do you think a woman who is used to a high density, fast paced, cultured, cosmopolitan city such as Moscow or St. Petersburg is going to be happy living in your remote yet cozy abode?  Even if you were the greatest guy in the world to her this would probably result in a perpetual conflict that could challenge the stability of your relationship.  I suggest you think in terms of seeking a woman who is accustomed to a metropolitan lifestyle similar to the one you currently live in.  You will not only improve your odds of attracting the right lady for you but of keeping her for the long term as well. 

     Another factor could influence your choice of where to make your search.  The logistics and expense of travel are often times overlooked by most men searching Russia for their true love.  You will find that it is relatively easy and inexpensive to develop a compelling relationship through correspondence with a woman in Russia.  The real issue is; are you going to ‘put your money where your mouth is’ when it comes time to do something more than exchange love letters?  Statistically, most men won’t leave their home port and travel to Russia . . . primarily because they can’t afford to, either with time or money.  If you are going to be serious and successful about this process you must be prepared and capable of traveling to Russia (or somewhere in-between) at least once to meet your lady.  Therefore you will want to search for and select women in areas you are capable and comfortable with traveling to.  Since the two major international gateway cities in western Russia are Moscow and St. Petersburg they are the easiest and least expensive to travel to.  Chances are you will arrive in one of these two cities before traveling to any other Russian city.  You will certainly find a large number of quality women in these two fascinating cities so this is a good place to look first if you want to focus on a selected geographical region.

     By all means you can certainly search as far and wide as possible without regards to travel logistics.  The old saying ‘Love Will Find a Way’ will certainly come true for you when you are anxious to meet the special lady you have made a romantic connection with.  As a reader of this Guide you have access to many resources that can help you make any needed travel arrangements.

Her Preferences

     One of the things you should look for is an indication that you are what she is looking for.  She may have specified preferences in age, height, marital status, character and geographic location. If you fall outside of her stated preferences then don’t waste your time and money in an attempt to pursue her. 

     If she states an age range you might be successful if you are older by a year or two.  If you have other compelling attributes that you can convey effectively in your first letter you might get a response but be aware that you will probably be competing with several other men that did fall within her preferred age range.  Be cautious if the profile of a young lady specifies a very broad age range (example: 20-50 years of age).  This is probably not her true preference and more likely a deception by the agency to make this profile appealing to a larger range of men so they can sell her address more often.  If you find the same high age range desired by many other young ladies listed by the agency then this should cause you to suspect this agency as dishonest.  It is more likely that a preferred age range will be up to 10 maybe 15 years older than herself.  Keep in mind that even if you fall within her stated age range she may not fall within yours.

     Geographical preferences are not typically stated in most of the profiles.  Most of the ladies are open-minded to where they will relocate if they find the right man.  If she does indicate a geographic preference it will probably be for Western Europe or America.  The choice for Europe is probably because she doesn’t want to move too far away from home.  The choice for America may be based on the amount of publicity America receives around the world through the media and her perceived wealth of Americans.  She may have a preference because she already knows of someone else in that country, either a friend or relative.  Whatever her reasons are for stating a geographical preference you take a chance if you set your hopes on trying to persuade her to consider your location instead. 

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