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Section 3: Find Your Lady


Getting Started

     Throughout time, single men have used many methods for meeting other single women for relationships and marriage.  Being introduced or ‘set up’ by a mutual friend or family member has long been a common practice in many societies.  Joining social groups or ‘going out’ to night clubs are some of the fun and contemporary ways many single men hope to meet a desirable and interested lady.  Surprisingly, too many single men simply resort to some form of random chance and hope that somehow, someday, their paths will cross with their ‘Dream Girl’.  Unfortunately all these methods produce mixed results of satisfaction and success.

     Today’s goal oriented men are neither interested nor willing to invest their valuable time and resources on unproductive methods of meeting women.  Instead they are reaching out across their home towns and even across the globe to find compatible partners.  Placing and responding to singles ads in local or online publications is growing in popularity around the world.

     Today, single Western men are embracing the use of modern communication technology to meet compatible ladies from Russia and other former Soviet Union countries.  The process of finding eligible Russian women for courtship and marriage is extremely easy with the proliferation of Russian marriage and introduction agencies on the internet. 

     Like their western counterparts, Russian women can and do place ads on various dating or matchmaking services promoting themselves to Western men.  Some Russian women have personal access to the internet to support their quest but usually, because of limited access and affordability to the internet, most Russian women utilize the services of Russian Marriage Agencies. 

     The following will review the various means in which you can successfully connect with a single Russian woman looking for a man like you.  You will find each source has its own merits and shortcomings.  This Guide is designed to help you explore each of the various ways to go about searching for a compatible Russian woman while providing you insights on how to maximize your results and avoid financial and emotional heartache. 


Positive Attitude

     Having the right attitude about the search process will be vital for your long-term success.  The concept of ‘success’ when thought of in terms of a relationship with a woman is a personal definition.  What may be a success for one man may not be considered the same by another.  Regardless of your own definition of success you will improve your chances of achieving it if you possess a healthy balance of mental and emotional resources.

     Whether you have been single for a few weeks or several years you have a simple choice to make if you want to change your single status.  You can either be passive and reactive, hoping and waiting on a chance encounter with the right woman as you go about your everyday routines and lifestyle.  On the other hand you can choose to be active and assertive in your search by creating opportunities to meet a woman for a meaningful relationship.  Since you are reading this Guide it is clear that you have already made the choice to be active in your search.  Now is the time to step up your efforts and become even more assertive if you are just starting your search for a foreign romance.

     If you are like most men then you probably have many years of relationship and dating experience with several different women.  Reflect on your past and cherish both the positive and disappointing moments as valuable learning experiences.  Think of your situation today as a new beginning and leave behind any ‘negative baggage’ from previously failed relationships.  Don’t be a victim of your past but instead be joyous at the prospect of finding your future soul mate.  If you project yourself as a victim you will be viewed as a weak man, a very undesirable trait for a Russian woman.  Instead project yourself as optimistic and excited about your future life.  Promoting yourself as a winner will appeal to any woman.

     Before you begin or renew your own search you should be clear about your goal.  Be honest with yourself, are you looking for a: pen pal, casual date, Sexual encounter, romantic fling or marriage?  Unless you live in Russia or have alternative reasons (such as business) for travel to Russia seeking a casual date, Sexual encounter or romantic fling is impractical given the long distances and expenses involved.  The remainder of this Guide will assume that you are primarily seeking a long-term marriage relationship.  However, if you are looking for a casual date or romantic relationship without the prospect of marriage you may find the information useful as well.

     Whatever your reasons for choosing to pursue a relationship with a Russian woman you should keep a positive attitude about the process and be prepared (emotionally and financially) for the adventure and experience of a lifetime.  This can be a very joyous experience or a frustrating one depending on your approach and your luck.  If you carefully follow the advice and utilize the recommended resources in this Guide then you are likely to achieve your goal with less time, effort and aggravation.


Using the Internet

     Today the internet is proving to be one of the best resources for those Western men seeking to find a Russian wife.  You will find it to be an excellent medium for providing a single man the ability search the extensive ‘catalog’ of available and interested Russian women seeking a foreign husband.  However you need to be cautious on how to use this venue.  One of the primary goals of this Guide is to enlighten you on how to use the internet as an effective tool for this process.  You may have already found a few of the hundreds of on-line marriage and introduction agencies and been tantalized by the extremely beautiful woman they offer to you.  Now is not the time to loose your senses by the display of so many lovely ladies. 

     You can take two approaches to your on-line search.  One of ‘the hunter’ and the other as ‘the hunted’.  These are classic mating game roles played between men and women of all nationalities.  As a Western man seeking to find love with Russian women you can choose which role to play.  As the ‘hunter’ you take on the overwhelming task of searching through thousands of on-line ads and profiles selecting the most interesting and appropriate candidates to make a first contact with.  As ‘the hunted’ you reverse the role and advertise or promote yourself letting the ladies know that you are available and seeking a partner.  The role of the hunter may seem more natural for you as a man.  The role of the hunted may seem too passive and restrictive.  The most successful men do both and don’t rely on just one strategy.  This can result in far more ladies to consider for a serious relationship thus maximizing your chances for long-term success.


Place an Ad

     Placing an ad has many distinct advantages but some limitations.  In many cases placing an ad on an internet dating service is free.  Although there are hundreds of on-line dating services there are several that enable you to exclusively advertise to a Russian audience.   Frequently, many of the Russian Marriage Agencies that serve a local clientele offer an opportunity for Western men to to create a profile of themselves so their female clients can choose from a catalog of available men for correspondence.

     Internet access is not as common in Russia as it is in other Western countries.  Because of this you will limit yourself if you only think about using the internet as your primary means of advertising yourself.  If you want to advertise yourself to a larger female audience in Russia you can take out an ad in a local paper.

     Keep in mind that some women are not comfortable with the idea of publishing their picture and profile for the entire world to see.  These women would rather take the initiative or be more discreet and respond to an ad than place one of their own.  This is a unique group of women who you will never reach unless you advertise yourself to them. 

     When you receive and message from a lady that has responded to your ad you are more likely to have her exclusive attention.  Realistically she will have written to a few men in hopes of a reply from one or two.  She may get more than just your reply back but here the odds are much better for you.  You may only have to compete with one or two other men in comparison to hundreds if you were to reply to her ad if  published on the internet. 

     More valuable information can be found in the Advice Guide:

·  How to Place an Effective Ad


Marriage Agencies

     A simple internet search will yield a multitude of agencies and businesses interested in helping you find and correspondence with any one of thousands of Russian and Ukrainian beauties.  They make it seem so easy . . . just pick your lady, buy their address, and you are on your way to everlasting happiness.  Some agencies easily define and exploit the notion of ‘Mail Order Bride’.  You can be certain it is not as simple as they would have you believe.  Certainly these agencies can sell you contact information and correspondence services however if you are not careful, you will quickly find yourself with your wallet thinned out with little more than frustration and disappointment to show for your investment.

     On the other hand some agencies can be extremely valuable and effective resources to aid you in your quest.  Many strive to provide a sincere and effective service for both their male and female clients.  Knowing how to spot the difference between agencies that are deceptive in practice, looking to make as much money as possible, verses those that are willing to earn in your business by providing an honest service can be difficult without some guidance and knowledge of what to look for.

     Understanding how a Marriage Agency works is the first step in deciding if any particular agency is right for you.  Always remember that the simple principles of economics apply here since every agency is operating as a business entity and not as a charity service.  All agencies exist to make a profit by selling their services to their target customer (usually Western men).  They may paint a romantic picture, expressing their intentions of helping you find the love of your life but the reality is they are still a business with your wallet in mind.  Keep your guard up by being a little skeptical.  This can protect you financially and emotionally.

     Regardless of which agency you purchase an address from it is up to you to initiate the contact with the lady and then wait, hoping for a reply.  Unfortunately you may not know how long that same lady’s profile has been listed and how often her address has been purchased by other men throughout the world in the past.  It’s possible that she is already involved with another man and no longer receptive to new admirers.  Purchasing addresses can be a gamble where the odds are stacked against you.  There are however, several strategies you can employ to maximize your results and protect you from wasting your time and money.

More valuable information can be found in the Advice Guides:


Dating Sites

     Dating sites are a common and popular means for many single men and women to meet each other.  You may already be familiar with several of them.  Unfortunately dating sites for Russian singles are not as common.  Although a few Russian language sites do exist they are developed primary for domestic not international use.  This is one of the reasons why many single Russian women avail themselves to the marriage agencies.  Even so, there are many Russian women that are able to place their own profiles on Western dating sites. 

     This can be a productive venue for you to search for your lady since many dating sites enable you to search by country.  Usually there is a fee or membership involved in order to send or receive a message from a lady listed on a dating site.  Since placing a profile on these dating sites is usually free of charge you may find that some of the ads are actually placed by Russian marriage agencies as a means of promoting some of their female clients.  This probably won’t be apparent until you receive a reply. 


Networking

     If you have a genuine interest in Russian history, culture, science, business or whatever else you can imagine you may find opportunities to network with other like minded individuals on the subject.  Regardless of their nationality your interaction with other men and women may lead you to resources, advice and opportunities to meet eligible Russian women.   Networking for the sole purpose of finding a Russian wife may not appear sincere if this is your only motive for interaction with these groups.  Think of networking as tool for making new friends and contacts which might lead to personal introduction with a special lady for you.  Although this method can take more time you will be richly rewarded with quality contacts and friendships.


Pen Pal Services

     If you are looking to have a sincere and friendly correspondence with a Russian woman there are many services that can set you up as a ‘Pen Pal’ or ‘Pen Friend’.  This can also be an effective technique to find a potential soul mate if you believe in the ‘Friends First’ philosophy. Certainly this can be a great way to make new friends or professional acquaintances and learn about another person’s lifestyle and culture.  Keep in mind that the woman you are corresponding with as a pen pal may not be interested in moving away from their home town or specifically looking for a husband so if this is your primary agenda then it would be best to be honest about your reasons for a correspondence.  Pen pals can be an excellent resource of information or assistance when it comes time to travel to Russia especially if you have someone that can assist you in the logistics of traveling to smaller cities in Russia.


Chat Lines

     Popular on-line chat programs like AIM (AOL Instant Messenger), MSN Messenger, Yahoo Messenger or ICQ can be another tool to use for finding and communicating with people around the globe.  ICQ is the most popular internationally.  Using an on-line chat program only works if both people can effectively read, write and type in the same language.  Use the search capabilities to find someone else with similar interests and the nationality of your desire.  Strike up a conversation with someone new or use these communication tools for an established relationship.


Referrals

     It would certainly be nice if you know someone who can introduce you to foreign lady looking for a relationship.  Let your friends, family and professional acquaintances know what your are looking for.  You may get lucky and be introduced to a wonderful lady that is right for you.


Who to Choose

     Although there are no guarantees that you will find your special lady quickly or easily however if you develop a meaningful selection strategy you will improve your chances for success and minimize any emotional or financial hardships.

Visit these chapters for more information about Finding Your Russian Woman:

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