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Featured Article


Russian Women Secret #3

What are Russian women looking for?

By Elena Petrova

Thousands Russian women are looking for a partner abroad - beautiful, intelligent, educated, and AVAILABLE. After browsing dozens sites offering addresses of single Russian ladies, and struggling to believe in their existence, you eventually decided to give it a try. The only question that is still worrying you is if those women will be interested in You. What are they actually looking for?

If you ask agencies what Russian women are looking for, they will say - love and security. And this is right on the money - love and security is what any Russian woman is looking for in a foreign match. But this is not all the truth! There are some particulars like acceptable age difference, race, physical and personal characteristics. Do You correspond?

You can try to figure it out using lady’s questionnaires. Usually lady’s requirements to a prospective partner are specified in her personal profile. But most are very brief, and fit almost anybody.

I can tell you why: agencies edit women’s information. They do not add anything but can cut something out. They have to look through hand-written letters trying to figure out what a woman meant when said “careful”, “materially provided” and “I like romantic evenings with candles”. If a woman specified too many requirements, they probably don’t fit into characters limit for this field specified in the database program. There are also women who do not say anything about their requirements, and the agency puts label “any” in all requested fields - but she probably just forgot to say something about a man she’d like to marry. Then you write to her, and she responds, “We have too little in common”.

So the requirements that you see in women’s profiles do not reflect 100% what women are REALLY looking for.

What if to have a look at non-edited women’ profiles?

Lets view 3 essential criteria: age, race and personality.

[The data are result of my own research basing on the questionnaires of 500 Russian women seeking partners abroad. The data have been received through Internet as well as regular mail directly from women. The questionnaires have not been sorted by appearance or another criteria, excepting age.

As results on age and race were different in different age groups, all questionnaires of the corresponding age group were considered separately, with the total number of recipients in the group taken as 100%. “Not specified” means that the lady did not specify the criteria, “Any” means that she specified “any” in her questionnaire.

Women 18-25

Age of prospective partner:

+4...+17 (4-17 years older than herself)
Any - under 1%
Not specified - 11%
Minimal acceptable age specified - -2 (2 years younger than herself)
Maximal acceptable age specified - +34 (34 years older than herself)

Race:

White - 70%
Any - 7%
Not specified - 23 %

Women 26-35

Age of prospective partner:

+1...+16 (1-16 years older than herself)
Any - 5%
Not specified - 6%
Minimal acceptable age specified - -5 (5 years younger than herself)
Maximal acceptable age specified - +25 (25 years older than herself)

Race:

White - 54%
Any - 9%
White or Asian - 3%
White, Asian or multiracial - under 1 %
Not specified - 33%

Women 36-45

Age of prospective partner:

0...+15 (0-15 years older than herself)
Any - 6%
Not specified - 29%
Minimal acceptable age specified - -4 (4 years younger than herself)
Maximal acceptable age specified - +23 (23 years older than herself)

Race:

White - 66%
Any - 4%
White or Asian - 2%
Not specified - 28%

Women 46+

Age of prospective partner:

-2...+7 (2 years younger - 7 years older than herself)
Any - 15%
Not specified - 26%
Minimal acceptable age specified - -5 (5 years younger than herself)
Maximal acceptable age specified - +10 (10 years older than herself)

Race:

White - 70%
Any - under 1%
Not specified - 29%

Some interpretation of the results. It is easy to see that younger women consider age difference more acceptable than older women. Younger women prefer partners to be older than them, older women prefer partners of the same age.

In my opinion, it has something to do with security. For a younger woman an older husband is a guarantee of family’s well-being and his loyalty (don’t forget, Russian husbands are very promiscuous), and for an older woman a husband of her age seems more secure because she is afraid he will die before her. And being in a foreign country on her own is a thing a Russian woman is thinking with fear of. Normally Russian women are intending to stay with their future foreign husbands for the rest of their lives, and do not think about possibility of divorce on the premarital stage (I do not talk about gold-diggers, it’s a topic for another article). They have very low self-esteem, and want their husbands to protect them.

If asked, women definitely prefer men of their own race. If not asked, women usually omit requirement about race, because they simply do not think about it. Russian population is mostly Caucasians, with a small number of Asians, and there are no people of African origin.

Still, of 100% who were asked about their race preferences, 9% specified “any”, 4% specified “White or Asian”, and about 1% specified “White, Asian or multiracial”. Acceptance of Asians in Russia is very high, and interracial marriages of this type are not something special. For a black man to make his way to the heart of a Russian lady is more difficult, though I know about successful romances between Russian ladies and
Afro-Americans. But they are rather exceptions.

Regarding to height, I did not include this requirement in the research because it is seldom an issue for a Russian woman as long as you are taller than her.

What to do if a woman you are interested in did not specify her requirements? Being wise you will follow the most common requirements for the lady of her age group, being adventurous apply without hesitation, and find out. But do not think she will accept anybody.

Well, now when we finished with objective criteria such as age and race, it’s time for the most interesting part - personal characteristics that women are looking for in the foreign men.

Top 30 most popular personal characteristics:

Kind - 44%
Intelligent - 31%
Honest/sincere - 25%
Educated - 22%
Reliable - 21%
With a sense of humor - 21%
Financially secure - 20%
Caring - 19%
Faithful - 12%
Romantic - 12%
Loves children - 10%
Cheerful - 10%
Will love me/loving - 9%
Decent - 8%
Strong - 8%
Generous - 8%
Serious - 7%
Family-oriented - 8%
Attentive - 7%
Gentle - 7%
Clever - 7%
Responsible - 6%
Will understand me/understanding - 6%
Without kids - 5%
Without bad habits - 4%
>From USA or Canada - 4%
Independent - 4%
Trustworthy - 4%
Open - 4%
Stable - 4%

With the huge advantage the leading characteristic is “Kind” - 44% of women mention it in their questionnaires. Must be something of value for Russian girls?

The next is “Intelligent” with 31%, and this one requires a special explanation. In Russian there is a word “intelligentnyi” that came from Latin but the word has different meaning. It means more than a person with good brains. It means rather the type of character - well educated, well read, well mannered, trustworthy, kind, gentle, decent; shortly, a good person with good education and good brains. Most women mean this when put “Intelligent” in their questionnaires. If they want to talk only about brain speed, they will use the word “Clever” to name what you usually call “Intelligent”. “Educated” - means at least college level of education. As most women who are looking for partners abroad have university or college degree, they prefer men of similar background. “With a sense of humor” - this usually makes men confused and think that women just want a clown or somebody who will entertain them 24 hours a day. In reality women mean somebody who is able to see the funny side in life, and likes fine jokes. Russian type of humor is very dry, and they prefer indirect jokes. They do not find it funny when somebody falls in a comedy, and Charlie Chaplin movies were not that popular there.

Well, now you think you know what they are looking for, and will be able to write self-characteristic that will attract Russian women. They said it themselves! Just take from the top - kind, intelligent, honest, educated, reliable, with a sense of humor, financially secure, caring, faithful, romantic, loving children...

Do not try it - you will be wrong!!

I think now I made you totally confused. If to give them exactly what they state they are looking for is wrong - what the hell are they looking for?????????????

To understand what IN REALITY attracts Russian women you must try to jump into their shoes.

A woman starts her search for a marriage partner in a foreign country having only one example of men - and they are Russians. So she intuitively estimates a foreign man according to the same standards that she uses for men of her homeland. And it does not work to explain the differences in life style - she won’t understand it right away, probably partially with time as your correspondence develop, but completely only after a few months in a foreign country.

So, what is affecting her choice the most?

She is looking for somebody who can provide for a family, and in Russia such men must be morally strong, hardworking and career/business orientated. You will be surprised, but in Russia a woman will rather prefer her husband working long hours to be promoted than rushing home! (He anyway does not help with homework and kids.)

She is looking for somebody who can protect her and care about her, and he must be dominating. In Russia such characteristics are not compatible with “romantic” and “faithful”. Vice versa, such characteristics are typical for men who are submissive and not capable of coping with life, while a woman acts as family’s provider and defender. She will rather stay with somebody who loves her less than with a man who is submissive and dependent.

If a woman starts her search abroad, it means she feels that her time to get married is ticking away, and she needs somebody who is serious and not just entertaining with idea. Your stressing the points about your wonderful sense of humor, being funny and cheerful will mean for her you are not a reliable candidate!

The other thing is that Russians do not talk about their good qualities, it’s against of their culture, and giving a self-characteristic they will rather say, “I think I am not a complete idiot” rather than “I am clever”. If you list your positive qualities one by one, she will have a feeling that you are lying! She does not THINK so, but her intuition says her that there is something wrong.

Please understand me correctly: women are honest when they state the personal characteristics they are looking for in their future partners. They truly want their husbands to be like this. But when they read your letter / ad / personal listing, they evaluate it first on subconscious level. All women are emotional by nature, and they are rather attracted by the FEELING that your message creates than its real content.

In my practice the highest response received ads that were particular and factual. For example, saying “serious businessman” will mean more for a Russian woman than “financially secure”, and “visit gym 5 days a week” will be more understandable than “fit”.

This is my own list of qualities that are of real value for Russian women, and will attract their attention:

Strong (means strong personality not physical qualities)
Goal oriented
Know what I want
Serious
Emotionally and financially stable
College/university educated (rather than simply “educated“)
Love life
Like travel
Keep myself in shape physically and mentally
Play tennis/golf
Reliable
Hardworking
No bad habits
Active
Energetic
Have many interests
Have many friends
Good Christian (for women it means you are trying to do the right things
in life)
Tall
Visit Russia/Ukraine summer 2001

Also, when give a personal ad, your requirements to a prospective partner say a lot about yourself. If you are looking for a clever/intelligent woman (you know the difference by now), she will assume You are clever/intelligent, too.
 

Russian Women Secret #4
 

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Elena Petrova is founder of Russian Brides Cyber Guide, a no-nonsense informational source for men seeking a Russian wife and author of the popular Anti-Scam Guide.  She is also the owner of the highly respected Russian Women Catalog and Elena’s Models introduction services.  With hundreds of marriages on their records, Elena’s Models is one of the most popular places on the Internet for men seeking a sincere, honest Russian woman for marriage.  Please visit Elena’s websites for more information about Russia and Russian women, and do not hesitate to make a use of her services - her team really know what they are doing!

Copyright © 2003 Elena Petrova

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