Russian Women Secret #6
How to separate sincere women from gold diggers
By Elena Petrova
If you try to gain some information about dating to Russian women, earlier or later you will come across the subject of gold diggers, or so called “scammers”. A while ago I promised to tell you more about it in one of the future articles. I think now it’s the right time.
So you know that there are real, attractive, educated ladies out there who are looking for a partner abroad, and know why they do it (See Secret 1). You know what kind of women are looking for a partner abroad (Secret 2), and what they are looking for (Secret 3). You know what they think about men who are seeking a foreign bride (Secret 4), and how to ensure they will be interested in You (Secret 5).
Now, before you proceed any further, here is a word of wisdom. Looking for a partner abroad is not any different than any other search - search for a house, a second-hand car, or whatsoever, in one simple detail: there are always will be people who will try to make you in.
The history of marriage scams started ages ago, and it’s not Russians who invented them. I remember a story of American author O’Henry about the legendary scammer Jeff Peters who practiced his skills in matrimonial industry long before the Internet (I read it in grade 6 - of course, in translation to Russian). To refresh your memory, him and his loyal friend Andy Takers decided to organize a low risk venture by placing an ad at a newspaper for singles: “Wealthy nice widow is looking for an honest kind man who will take a good care of her and her capitals. Age and looks are not important but he must have a heart of gold”. (I am quoting by memory trying to translate back from Russian so please be forgiving if there are more than couple of dozens mistakes.) To ensure that police won’t have problems with their little enterprise, they have found a real widow, and put some meaningful amount on her name at the bank. The trick was that everybody who wanted to write to the lady had to pay 50 bucks to have his letter handled to Mrs. X. Money was pouring in, expenses has been covered, and the venture has started to make profits - when police did arrive. Results? Very happy with the presence of the real person and nice figure on the bank balance, police officer was offered to have his letter handled to Mrs. Nice Widow free of charge (honestly, I don’t remember if he took advantage of this generous offer).
Another story that comes to my mind belongs to Czech writer Carel Chapek. It was a novel about a police detective who unexpectedly met two of his former clients at a posh restaurant, a respectably looking man in his 50th and a middle aged glossy woman - the joke was that both of them were famous marital scammers, and were extracting money from the opposite sex promising to marry them. Both were very angry and frustrated when found out the truth about their partner for the dinner!
Well, leaving along classic literature, what I was trying to say is that marriage scams are not new to this world. They are in use for at least few hundreds years. You can encounter the similar problem using local personals. What Internet has brought new is a possibility of using typing to express feelings that requires much less actor skills than face-to-face communication. Paper can bear anything, you know that. Even phone conversation can give you more clues of what’s really going on (though men usually tend to misinterpret subtle signs excusing them by the language barrier).
So you must be aware of the fact that there are some individuals out there who may try to extract from you some amount in cash playing on your feelings.
3 years ago I organized a web page called “Russian dating agencies Black List” (http://www.womenrussia.com/blacklist.htm) with the aim to list unscrupulous services from international dating industry. This page only includes comments of my visitors, but now it became a long list of names of individual scammers! After reading the horror stories of this page many men say that they feel frustrated with the whole thing. They think it’s too many bad girls out there.
As a volunteer editor of this little forum, I can say that nothing can be further from the truth.
From my experience, there are several scam patterns that are used over and over, and I believe that it’s the same individual or group hiding under a few names behind the each pattern (by the way, many are ... men!). And there are not a lot of them. All patterns have similarities that are very easy to spot if you know what to watch out for:
1. Usually the contact originates from a personals site where anyone can place his/her ad for free. Most often it was not you who initiated the acquaintance; you received a letter from a beautiful female who was interested in you. *Her* description of the partner is always very broad that will fit anybody - “kind intelligent man, age and race don’t matter”. - Doesn’t it look similar to Jeff Peters’ ad for you? :-)
2. It is always email correspondence; and letters are sent regularly, often every day.
3. *She* never asks about your job, possessions or the state of your finances - neither uses the word *financially secure* in her description of the prospective partner.
4. Things move very fast, and *she* falls in love with you within 1-3 letters.
5. In her letters *she* talks a lot about trust, honesty and sincerity.
6. *She* does not answer your particular questions.
7. Her financial situation is very bad - and she lets you know from the very beginning how little she earns, including the size of her salary even though you never asked about it (variant: she is a student).
There are many other “red flags” but those above appear in almost every scam. The most prominent is the fact that scammers don’t read your letters. They are too busy corresponding with dozens potential victims, so they simply don’t have time for that. They don’t answer your questions. They don’t remember what you have written. There are usually sequences of letters, and they send the same messages to all their correspondents, one by one, making the only change - the man’s name (usually the man’s name appears only once, or does not appear at all - *she* uses “sweetheart”, “my love” etc instead). And of course earlier or later it will end in money request.
In opposite, an honest woman will usually have distinctive requirements to her prospective partner, with the words “educated” and “financially secure” to be seen most often. She has reasonable limits for the age range. Her letters are seldom regular like sunrise - she also has other responsibilities, and this is not her way of making a living! Almost impossible that she says: “I love you”, in anything earlier than 2-3 months, even then, she does not spend her whole letter to discuss “her love” - most likely you will get a brief report on the weather and some casuals of her everyday life. Her letters are much more reserved comparing to yours. She answers your questions - well, probably misses some of them, but she does answer when you ask. You will never know how much money does she make per month if don’t ask directly.
With all the clear differences, you are likely to misjudge your correspondents. Scammers (their letters and pics) always stand out. If you have the only correspondent, this is an easy way to the trap.
So what can I advise to men who want to separate honest women from gold diggers?
First, rather buy addresses from agencies than use free personals sites. Scammers are not eager to give away their contact details. Second, never correspond with only one woman. Write to a few women, and let yourself feel the difference. Third, don’t fall in love too fast. 2-3 weeks is definitely NOT enough time to realize if you have met the right person.
Better still, buy the Complete No-Nonsense Anti-Scam Guide for USD 24.95, and read all its 30+ pages. Most its readers say it saved them much, MUCH more. If you think it did not worth it, you will get your money back!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Elena Petrova is founder of Russian Brides Cyber Guide, a no-nonsense informational source for men seeking a Russian wife and author of the popular Anti-Scam Guide. She is also the owner of the highly respected Russian Women Catalog and Elena’s Models introduction services. With hundreds of marriages on their records, Elena’s Models is one of the most popular places on the Internet for men seeking a sincere, honest Russian woman for marriage. Please visit Elena’s websites for more information about Russia and Russian women, and do not hesitate to make a use of her services - her team really know what they are doing!
Copyright © 2003 Elena Petrova